Remove the idea of right/wrong- but rather forward/backward.
One step familiar, a road seen, expectations known.
One step not just unknown, but overwhelming, and it's not a dark road, but quite bright- so bright it's blinding and that's what you can't see. We get so used to it the circumstances- the situations, even if we don't like them, their familiarity is comforting.
Familiarity is not family. Family loves you, protects you, pushes you, wants you, needs you, expects things from you. Familiarity is merely an objective sensation of your habits that becomes comfortable and safe. Even if you're constantly uncomfortable- your discomfort is safe and therefore comforting.
The bed, as comfortable as it may be, the weight of the duvet holds me like chains. Every item on the web of my to-do lists in their colors and bubbles and arrows work like stones hitting my head, knocking me down onto a pillow and keeping me there until so many hours have gone by, that the day only holds a sense of hopelessness and delirium. What was it worth? What did you get done?
The measure of one person's day who might wake up early, go to the gym, go to work, eat three meals, enjoy a film at night; or one who sleeps in, berates himself, and then lifts his pen. As long as the pen gets lifted. It's impossible to measure these scenarios. One is not incapable of the other. The work of both has the capacity to be equally shitty and equally brilliant. Sometimes the accomplishment necessary is not the work- sometimes it is just to get out of the bed, or get the groceries. Maybe all we need is a walk, with grass and trees. Measure the beauty of our existence.
The beauty of a tree, the design of the bark, the vein of the leaves. The beauty of a condo, matching windows, glass into the sky, people inhabiting them, entitled to their property.
Measure forward and backward. How to get to where and what you want. Without judgement, on yourself or anyone, take the step.
No comments:
Post a Comment