Happy New Year.
Happy new day. It's Saturday and I've cleaned my bathroom and made breakfast and lunch. It's funny how nostalgically I make food. Peanut butter banana sandwich, one side peanut butter one side butter. It's changed a little as to what the peanut butter is and what the butter is and I mostly drink almond milk. Though I did make my almond milk chocolate.
Even how I clean my bathroom: I always start with the mirror, then the sink, the toilet, the tub, the floor. then i have a shower to get the cleaning supply lotion off and christen the new clean room with a shower for myself. Like a good job shower.
Then I mailed a letter!
The whole experience of this is funny to me because it's like playing an adult. In many ways I am an adult, pretty self-sufficient, I have a business, I work hard, I do my best to pay my bills as on time as I possibly can even though I often forget and I'm really sorry... it's like I'm seven with a t-shirt on my head, playing Cinderella, playing house, playing whatever. It's fun most of the time. But then there are situations like this week in which I was working on updating my resume and realized I had no idea what I was doing.
I have done a lot of work, but formatting it into 2 pages to put my best foot forward or even just document things in a way that makes sense is really difficult. It's really adult and I realize I'm just not that comfortable with it.
I like to draw and paint and make things for people; how do you tax that?
This blog is right now a means of procrastination against completing some of these tasks at hand. They get so big they don't happen which makes things worse. Like even writing a blog entry. I write a good one and then the pressure to write another one just as good worries me to the point of not writing at all. Then there's a block because I'm not even practicing, making the next round that much more difficult.
But with a big deep breath and a break down into steps and particles and just fucking doing the thing even if it's under the wire of a deadline is better than nothing. Fake it til you make it. Or just fucking make it and then it's done.
I had a deadline on Thursday for a collection proposal. I am so excited about it. I'm excited for this new direction and I'm excited to take a more adult approach to producing it. The catch is giving myself the openings to be the creative spirit I am, where there is no pressure- just honest art making. It's that playtime that makes the adult game more fun and less stressful.
So I've set up some tricks for myself which I hope you enjoy and they're mostly on lovemattersfacebook so here are the links:
One fun one is posting Love songs. I love music, I live by it, so I'm sharing what I like in all their cheesy trashy fabulous poetic glory. The first was this Whitney gem:
The other is I've decided to draw my hand every day for the year. The album is 359 hands (I decided this on Jan 6). Check it out :)
359 Hands
There's more social media stuff to come!
Take a moment to play everyday.
Love.
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